58 Things to discuss with your boyfriend/girlfriend in courtship before marriage

58 Things to discuss with your boyfriend/girlfriend in courtship before marriage

There are many important things to discuss with your boyfriend/girlfriend in courtship before you will think of walking down the isles in marriage with him/her.

Below are things you need to discuss with your boyfriend/girl in courtship before marriage:

Historical background:

  • Parental background: This will enable you know the family you’re going into.
  • Personal background up to date (this include, date of birth, place of birth).
  • Any family superstition.
  • Personal hopes and fears; Sicknesses and peculiar diseases.
  • Personal likes and dislikes.

Spiritual Commitment:

  • Any definite call from God into the ministry?
  • Personal spiritual ambition.
  • Fellowship meetings.
  • Involvement in activities; spiritual or secular.


  • How to tell one another’s needs.
  • Statement that hurts each other.
  • Discussion times.
  • What pet name would you like?
  • Settling differences.
  • Living with neighbours.
  • Means of communication; Gestures, words, symbols, etc.


  • Budgeting and spending.
  • Suggested bank accounts.
  • Possible areas of financial demands.

Child bearing/training:

  • Number of children.
  • Age spacing of the children.
  • Family planning – method to use.
  • Sex questions; Telling each other, special remarks, signals, etc.
  • Type of school for children.
  • Cost of education; percentage of income to invest into training of the children.
  • Pregnancy expenses and maintenance.
  • When do we name our child. Before or After birth?
  • Name of our children?

Work, business and education:

  • Type of work designed by either of the couple for the future.
  • When to resign from Company/Government work.
  • What to do after resignation.
  • Full time working housewife.
  • Combining work demand with house maintenance.
  • Future career.
  • When to embark on the career.
  • Do we further our education? When and Cost?


  • To what extent do we participate in external family programme?
  • What is your financial obligation to the extended family?
  • Should in-laws live with us?
  • What should be our financial obligation to in-laws.
  • On what conditions do we discuss with in-laws.
  • What do we do when we cannot meet our in-laws demands?
  • How long do Mummy stay with us during child birth?

Settling conflicts and quarrels:

  • What should be our priority in case of conflict between us?
  • What do we do in case of minor conflicts?
  • How do we handle major conflicts between us?
  • Who do we invite if resolving it within ourselves is not possible?
  • How do we use the conflicts/fights to build our home?
  • What come after resolving the conflict?
  • What should be our relationship and reference and regards to conflict?
  • What can we do to prevent repeated conflict?
  • Relationship with neighbour: The golden rule.

Feeding, Welfare:

  • What should be our feeding lifestyle?
  • At what time do we take each meal?
  • How often do we go to the market?
  • Who keeps the money budgeted for feeding.
  • Should there be first aid box for medication?

The above are some of the important things you must not fail to discuss with your boyfriend/girlfriend in courtship before marriage.


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