58 Things to discuss with your boyfriend/girlfriend in courtship before marriage
There are many important things to discuss with your boyfriend/girlfriend in courtship before you will think of walking down the isles in marriage with him/her.
Below are things you need to discuss with your boyfriend/girl in courtship before marriage:
Historical background:
- Parental background: This will enable you know the family you’re going into.
- Personal background up to date (this include, date of birth, place of birth).
- Any family superstition.
- Personal hopes and fears; Sicknesses and peculiar diseases.
- Personal likes and dislikes.
Spiritual Commitment:
- Any definite call from God into the ministry?
- Personal spiritual ambition.
- Fellowship meetings.
- Involvement in activities; spiritual or secular.
Communication:
- How to tell one another’s needs.
- Statement that hurts each other.
- Discussion times.
- What pet name would you like?
- Settling differences.
- Living with neighbours.
- Means of communication; Gestures, words, symbols, etc.
Finances:
- Budgeting and spending.
- Suggested bank accounts.
- Possible areas of financial demands.
Child bearing/training:
- Number of children.
- Age spacing of the children.
- Family planning – method to use.
- Sex questions; Telling each other, special remarks, signals, etc.
- Type of school for children.
- Cost of education; percentage of income to invest into training of the children.
- Pregnancy expenses and maintenance.
- When do we name our child. Before or After birth?
- Name of our children?
Work, business and education:
- Type of work designed by either of the couple for the future.
- When to resign from Company/Government work.
- What to do after resignation.
- Full time working housewife.
- Combining work demand with house maintenance.
- Future career.
- When to embark on the career.
- Do we further our education? When and Cost?
In-laws:
- To what extent do we participate in external family programme?
- What is your financial obligation to the extended family?
- Should in-laws live with us?
- What should be our financial obligation to in-laws.
- On what conditions do we discuss with in-laws.
- What do we do when we cannot meet our in-laws demands?
- How long do Mummy stay with us during child birth?
Settling conflicts and quarrels:
- What should be our priority in case of conflict between us?
- What do we do in case of minor conflicts?
- How do we handle major conflicts between us?
- Who do we invite if resolving it within ourselves is not possible?
- How do we use the conflicts/fights to build our home?
- What come after resolving the conflict?
- What should be our relationship and reference and regards to conflict?
- What can we do to prevent repeated conflict?
- Relationship with neighbour: The golden rule.
Feeding, Welfare:
- What should be our feeding lifestyle?
- At what time do we take each meal?
- How often do we go to the market?
- Who keeps the money budgeted for feeding.
- Should there be first aid box for medication?
The above are some of the important things you must not fail to discuss with your boyfriend/girlfriend in courtship before marriage.
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